So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Never underestimate the power of titties
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
