sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
