If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
