I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
