i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
