dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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