I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
