I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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