My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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