this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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