all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
