stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
