last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
