Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
