I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
