I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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