I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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