Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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