How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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