i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
