I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
