Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
