Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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