i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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