from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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