with your own penis?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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