You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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