I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
