I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
