that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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