I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
