how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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