Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
