i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
