my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
