I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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