..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
