His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
