And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
