i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
