Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
