so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize