he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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