i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
