I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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