Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
