I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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