This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
