Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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