so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
