I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
