Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
