I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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