If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
