OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
