do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
