The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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