By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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