You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
