FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
