I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
