it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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