Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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